Picture this: We’re only 12 days away from Halloween, and you haven’t got a costume yet. You’ve got a huge party to attend and everyone is going to be there. What’s a girl to do? Well, I’ll tell you — grab the sexiest costume you can find and you get your ass to that party!
There are plenty of sites out there showing you all the sexy costumes available, but I’d like to submit a few alternate suggestions for the feminists out there.
As a quick note, this post contains affiliate links. That means if you buy some of the items I’ve linked here, I might get a small commission from your purchase. Thanks in advance for supporting my lifelong dream of someday wearing a pair of sweatpants until they physically disintegrate.
- Sexy CEO
What’s sexier than a powerful woman who has worked incredibly hard to advance her career?
There’s a few parts to this costume: first up, a nice pantsuit from Nordstrom’s. Mostly covered, with a fun hint of ankle peeking out from the bottom of your trousers to show everyone you have a playful side. Next, a comfortable pair of Dr. Scholl’s loafers. You can walk up and down the halls of your office as much as you need, and still go to a PTA meeting (that is, if you chose to have a family, which you can absolutely do…or not). An iPhone, so you can answer emails at any time of the day or night. And one both free and invisible costume item: Impostor Syndrome. You’re qualified for this job…right?
- Sexy Scientist
What’s sexier than an intelligent woman who spends her days with da real MVP, science?
This costume is relatively simple. Either grab some of these sweet scrubs from Amazon or wear something comfy. Next up, cover those clothes up with a lab coat. Then, fill your pockets with some test tubes and get ready to correct anyone who thinks you’re a doctor by making sure they know you’re a scientist, but you’ve also got a PhD. You’ll also want to add a touch of Impostor Syndrome — and for some couples fun, ask your partner to check your math because you just don’t trust yourself with these calculations on your own!
- Sexy Pilot
What’s sexier than a woman who can control a hulking metal machine at 550 mph?
For this costume, you’ll need a white button down top and some blue trousers. Then, just pick up something like this Pilot Costume Accessory Set from Amazon (yeah, there’s only a picture of a man wearing it) to put a few finishing touches onto the costume. You can also scrounge up a pilot’s hat to make it fully clear that you are a pilot and not a flight attendant simply because you are a woman. And as always, good ol’ Impostor Syndrome. Sure, Sully saved all those people by gliding to safety on the Hudson. But could you?
- Sexy President of the United States of America
What’s sexier than being the leader of the free world?
Start this one off with a nice black blazer, but toss a bit of design in there. Throw it over a nice dress that comes down to at least your knees. No free shows here, Putin. You’ll also want some fancy gold pens you can use to sign bills in to law. Optional costume piece: a Blackberry. You’re the President now, so you can use whatever cell phone you want. For a fun couples idea, have your significant other dress up like a Secret Service member and follow you around whispering into their sleeve all night. And last but not least, Impostor Syndrome. Maybe it would have been better if your husband were President. Have you made a huge mistake?
Hope these costumes help you come up with an idea! What sexy feminist costumes have you created? Is it just you, in your every day clothes? 10 points to Gryffindor.